College football player lives on through foundation
The Digital Courier
FOREST CITY - Sometimes it is darkest before the dawn. Other times, tragedy precedes triumph. For Mark and Kym Hilinski, January 16, 2018 was their darkest day when they learned that their son, Tyler, a quarterback for Washington State, had taken his own life.
At the time, Tyler was seemingly at the top of the world, a Division 1 college quarterback, coming off his first start in a bowl game and ready for the world. Unbeknownst to his parents, coaches, and teammates, Tyler was in a dark place mentally.
His death sparked an initiative by his parents to raise awareness about mental health issues in college sports and to reduce the stigma associated with it. Thus, Hilinski’s Hope (H3H) was born.
Hilinski’s Hope Foundation is “a non-profit organization formed to promote awareness and education of mental health and wellness for student athletes.” The Foundation’s mission is to educate, advocate, and eliminate the stigma associated with mental illness, while funding programs that provide student-athletes with the tools and resources that support their mental health and wellness.
Mark and Kym immediately decided to dedicate their lives to passing on Tyler’s story in hopes that other student athletes’ lives might be saved. They developed “Tyler Talks;” frank discussions with small groups and teams about mental health issues with student athletes and how to get help with those issues.
"Mental health is health, and while our student-athletes are very good at taking care of their physical needs, many fail to tend to their mental wellness,” Kym Hilinski said. “We believe the stigma attached to mental illness keeps many of them from reaching out for help if they are struggling. Although we aren't mental health professionals, we do have a story to share: Tyler's story. We do it because we don't want to lose another Tyler, or have a family suffer the pain and grief we deal with every day. The world is a very complex and complicated place, as is mental health, and so many athletes are afraid to reach out for support because they fear doing so will make them appear weak. But in reality, it takes strength to ask for help. We've learned from the sport psychologists we work with that if an athlete takes care of their mental health, they'll be happier people-on and off the field and court.”
It seems to be working. The Hilinski’s have presented hundreds of “Tyler Talks” over the last four years, to large and small groups from big and small colleges. Recent presentations have included Auburn, Alabama and Clemson. Last week, the Hilinski’s sat down with the Forest City Owls to have an honest chat about Tyler’s story and mental health in general.
After hearing a “Tyler Talk” last year, Owls head coach Connor Dailey welcomed the opportunity to host another chat this season.
“It is definitely a topic that needs to be discussed,” Dailey said. “There are so many things a college athlete has to balance, and sometimes it gets to be too much to bear alone. College coaches are becoming much more aware of mental health issues today than just a few years ago. They are not going to drill it into your heads every day, but they are going to check in frequently to see how the athlete is doing.”
The Hilinskis usually speak to groups in a large auditorium but Dailey wanted a smaller venue.
“We wanted to do it privately in the locker room,” Dailey said. “It was much more candid and I felt that the guys were more open to discuss their feeling in a small, closed group. I thought we had a great talk and the players were at ease with discussing a difficult subject.”
Owls player G. Allen gained much insight from the chat.
“It was heavy message but a timely message that resonated with all of us,” Allen said. “They wanted us to know that just because one looks good on the outside, things might not be so good behind the scenes. That was the case with Tyler. His family and friends just didn’t know anything was wrong. College students have a lot on their plates, but athletes have even more so it is important for us to look out for each other and make sure everything is alright.”
Through Hilinski’s Hope, the Hilinskis are proud to offer a forum where student athletes can learn about their mental health, share their own stories and support one another. While Tyler is no longer here, his legacy lives on in the form of Hilinski’s Hope.
“We're grateful to share Tyler's story and our journey,” Kym said. “If we can help change or save one life, we know Tyler would be proud of our work."
