Mississippi State participating in CFB Mental Health Week, honoring Tyler Hilinski
Yahoo! News
Oct. 1—Editor's Note: This story explores suicide. If you are at risk, please stop here and contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for support: 1-800-273-8255.
STARKVILLE — Through his iconic quarterback meetings and the plethora of time spent together, Mike Leach built a relationship with Tyler Hilinski few could match.
Former Washington State athletic director Bill Moos tells Tyler's dad Mark Hilinski how Leach loved Tyler as much as any coach can love a player.
Mark texts Leach occasionally — sometimes just to check in and other times to discuss fishing in the Florida Keys.
They built a relationship of their own dating back to Leach's recruitment of Tyler seven years ago, but what Mark cherishes the most in his conversations with Leach is hearing tidbits about his son.
"He's the only guy that's going to give me a new story about Tyler that I haven't heard," Mark says.
One of his favorites is when Washington State's quarterbacks would make a pact to do what they needed to in their QB meeting with Leach and make sure not to say anything that'll extend it.
Naturally, Tyler would make sure to ask a bizarre question at the last minute and let Leach rant about pirates or grizzly bears, keeping the quarterbacks from going about their day.
"Tyler loved coach," Mark said.
Tyler died by suicide on January 16, 2018, during his junior year at Washington State.
His memorial was held five days later. Bracelets were made reading "Hilinski's Hope" along with the No. 3 — Tyler's jersey number.
On the inside is the phone number for the Suicide Prevention Hotline.
The bracelets were a heartbreaking reminder of that day for the Hilinski family, until Mark realized the conversations they were sparking.
"When people see these, they have a story to tell and they want to share," Mark said. "I think those conversations are so critical and important because you're not doing it on purpose. It's not a speech or presentation. It's a general interaction."
Mark and his wife Kym realized the chance they had to help eliminate the stigma surrounding mental health, especially in athletes.
That's when Hilinski's Hope Foundation (H3H) was created.
Not only does H3H sell bracelets and other merchandise, but it promotes mental health wellness programs at universities while teaching coaches and administrators the importance of discussing mental health.
Opening discourse about mental health doesn't only include talking about it, but understanding it too.
Rather than saying "committed suicide," Mark says "died by suicide" because it stems from a disease such as depression or anxiety — which we know can be treated.
"We're fairly good at this stuff," Mark says. "Nobody should be afraid. You don't commit cancer, right? You don't commit ALS."
Through the process of creating a foundation, the Hilinskis learned you need to put on events to succeed.
That's where the idea of College Football Mental Health Week came about.
Last year, 18 programs committed to taking part, and 40 media stories generated nearly 140 million impressions.
CFB Mental Health Week returns Oct. 2-9. It aligns with Mental Health Awareness Week (Oct. 3-9) and World Mental Heath Day (Oct. 10).
Mississippi State will be among the teams participating when it travels to Texas A&M on Saturday.
It's unclear what MSU will do to honor Tyler and the foundation, but most of the approximately 60 schools will be wearing helmet decals, lapel pins or bringing H3H to campus throughout the week.
Some schools will encourage those in the stadium to hold up three fingers at the beginning of the third quarter — a tradition that started at South Carolina when Tyler's brother Ryan was quarterback.
"It's the loudest silence you'll ever hear," Kym says.
"We have pictures of all this stuff, and you see bands that are hanging from wrists as they're holding up three," Mark said. "You feel like Tyler's of the world have a better chance of getting the help and feeling comfortable asking for it."
Ryan plays at Northwestern — another school taking part in CFB Mental Health Week — and the Hilinskis will spend their Saturday in Nebraska cheering him on.
But throughout the country, programs and coaches such as Leach will continue to keep Tyler's memory alive and do their part to help keep families from losing someone like the Hilinski family did.
"It's heartbreaking to us," Mark says. "But it's gratifying all the same because we know how one kid leaving just drops a nuclear bomb on a family."
