A tragic loss turned into Hilinski’s Hope, which puts the spotlight on mental health of student-athletes
The Morning Call
Tyler Hilinski played well at quarterback in the 2017 Holiday Bowl in San Diego.
In his first career start at Washington State, Hilinski completed 39 of 50 passes for 272 yards and two touchdowns.
However, Michigan State proved unstoppable and rolled to a 42-17 win.
But Hilinski’s effort in the Holiday Bowl coupled with an even more amazing performance as a backup in a 47-44 triple-overtime win over Boise State after the Cougars trailed 31-10 with 8 minutes left in regulation, had everyone believing Hilinski was headed for great things in his final two years at Washington State and beyond.
He was playing for Mike Leach, an offensive guru and one of the masterminds of the air raid system, and at 6-foot-3 and 213 pounds, he had the physical size and tools and the dedication that NFL coaches covet.
On Jan. 16, 2018, less than three weeks after the Holiday Bowl, Hilinski took his life in his Pullman, Washington, apartment with a gunshot wound to his head. He was 21.
“Tyler died over five years ago and there’s not an hour that goes by that we don’t shake our heads and think about a kid who had everything at his fingertips,” said Tyler’s father, Mark Hilinski. “He was playing quarterback for Mike Leach and might have had the chance to throw the ball 100 times a game. He was so adored by his teammates for just the sweet kind of kid he was.”
Mark and his wife Kym Hilinski don’t want any other parents to feel the pain they feel each day after losing their son.
That’s why they have dedicated themselves to Hilinski’s Hope, which is a foundation dedicated to educate, advocate and remove the stigma associated with the mental illness.
Saturday through Oct. 7 is Student Athlete Mental Health Week. It coincides with Mental Illness Awareness Week and culminates with World Mental Health Day on Oct. 10.
Using the H3H moniker to salute the No. 3 that Tyler Hilinski wore at Washington State, the foundation is staging this week of awareness for the fourth time and the first time it has expanded the program to all sports and not just college football.
Lehigh is one of more than 160 schools across the country to participate with various activities planned throughout the week.
Schools will encourage students, parents, alumni and fans to participate and show solidarity in eliminating the stigma around mental health. They can show their support by holding three fingers to the sky during the first play of the third quarter of their football game or purchase one of the many “3” ribbon products sent to their campuses by H3H. There will also be talks and training sessions on campus for players, coaches and staff.
The Hilinski family has developed “Hilinski’s Hope” and seen this special week grow each year as a way to honor Tyler, but also to help others.
“With him, there was no signs of anything being wrong; no signs of anything,” Mark Hilinski said. “But it’s unexplainable, a lot of this. What my wife and I have been doing over the last four years is visit almost 200 universities and we do what we call the ‘Tyler talk.’ We share a couple of stories about Tyler that we think are illustrative of questions young people in the office may have themselves. We don’t tell them what to do. We don’t train them on what to do. We share the story and the feedback has been extremely positive.”
Mental health is no longer something to be ignored or pushed aside, especially in a rapidly changing world where everybody is in the spotlight to an extent due to social media and young people are forced to grow up faster than previous generations.
It’s a topic that was put front and center by prominent athletes such as Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, Olympic gymnast Simone Biles, NBA player Kevin Love, tennis star Naomi Osaka and others. Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott has talked about losing a brother to suicide.
“I want to make talking about mental health normal,” USC quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Caleb Williams said in a release. “Hilinski’s Hope has turned a devastating life event into a force for good by taking action and creating Student Athlete Mental Health Week. You never know what someone is going through and how you can impact them and maybe save a life.”
It doesn’t have to be a high-profile player like Williams who may be in need of help or in position to make a difference.
“When we go around the country, we want these kids to talk about these things and make them understand that their lives are more important than the sport they’re involved in at the moment,” Hilinski said. “Whether you’re a goalie from Stanford, a running back for Lehigh, you’re just that thing for a moment. You’re going to be a husband, a father, a wife, a mother or an aunt or uncle and that’s ultimately more important.”
Hilinski said that there’s still “a real stigma” in the athletic community when it comes to mental health issues.
“There are still a handful of college football coaches who are apt to say ‘just rub some dirt on it, tape it up’ and send you back into the game,” he said. “It’s gotten better, but there are still a lot of things out there that student-athletes are devastated by and they don’t know what to do and they’re afraid to ask for help. We want to make it more normalized to have conversations about mental health.”
Hilinski is the first to admit he’s not a mental health expert, but wants everyone to know it’s OK to ask for help.
“Regardless of your lot in life, whether you’re the starting quarterback or the third-string winger on a team that nobody comes to watch, you’re the same 19- or 21-year-old on those teams and you deserve a life of excitement and hope and the right to not struggle with mental health and people not accepting you for that reason,” Hilinski said. “So, we’re doing the best we can and we have some terrific stories and love to see what the students and schools put on during this special week. We’re going to continue to do it as long as we’re making a positive difference.”
While an autopsy on his son revealed that he had the degenerative brain condition known chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), Hilinski said too many great people are leaving the world much too soon because of mental illness.
“We play the crisis horn all the time for so many things, but that’s really where we’re at with mental illness,” he said. “We’re losing, on average, 123 people per day to suicide. I’d trade everything to have Tyler back if only for 30 seconds, but I can’t do that. It’s not an option. I still love him and what do you do when you love somebody and they’re not around to take it from you? You deploy it in the best way you can and that’s what we’re trying to do with Hilinski’s Hope.”
